hahahaha…

i am a complete and giant nerd and i willingly admit it…i read things like this for fun…of course i’m also quite juvenile, so this couldn’t help but catch my eye

Madam, I’m gone, no wonder, for you know,
Lovers encounters are but touch and go.

The English Rogue, by Richard Head, 1665. There’s no possessive apostrophe in lovers because the punctuation mark wasn’t then in use.

heh…dick head…

organization vs creativity…

enh…i browsed through this briefly this morning and have some really serious re-purposing plans percolating away in my brain pan…but alas, my priority right now is found between the covers of shortcuts to creating and maintaining organized files & records brought to us by the fine folks of the sixty minutes training series.

you can imagine my relief when one of the first things i read upon opening and perusing the fly-leafs (because, really?  who doesn’t?) that:

national press publications endorses nonsexist language.  in an effort to make this handbook clear, consistent and easy to read, we have used ‘he’ throughout the odd-numbered chapters and ‘she’ throughout the even-numbered chapters.  the copy is not intended to be sexist.

 i’m sure you all can imagine the relief felt upon reading that…nothing is so disheartening as the rampant sexism found in one’s filing system…

i knew i was in for a long slog when faced with the first line of the introduction (well, really it was the moment i read the book’s title):

do you feel “organizationally impaired”?  do you want to scream as more and more paper lands on your desk?

other gems from the introduction include:

  • during moments of disorganization (when it takes more than 60 seconds to find what you need), how do you feel?  frustrated, incompetent, embarrassed and stressed?
  • during moments of organization, on the other hand, when you can immediately locate what you need,  don’t you feel confident, relaxed, powerful and in control?  what difference!

i am so pumped to learn the ‘solid organizational concepts’ that will lead me to be all-powerful!  sadly, it will take quite a bit of time because my predecessor LOVED paper and files.  i have a humongous lateral file, a fire proof file and a smallish mahogany two drawer lateral file  that said predecessor insisted on purchasing for herself even though she was retiring.  her love of paper knows no bounds and even though she would tut-tut other people making multiple copies of things, because the environment, almost everything i’ve gone through so far has at least 3 copies of the documents in them…an original, a work copy and a just in case copy…and said mahogany two drawer lateral file was full of mostly empty color coded files…a colored hanging folder complete with plastic tab and then a manila folder inside…all mostly empty, patiently awaiting their due three copies…among these i found folders marked ‘ideas’ or ‘planned giving insights’ from the early nineties…and a few donor giving records that are on the computer…nothing meaningful…just full of  busy-work…so this is what her monthly reports stating that she was ‘constantly filing, organizing and cleaning out’ really meant…and i can picture her just tottering about, happily creating more and more files that she would never use…just milking away the days of her self-imposed and self-regulated retirement…which was a retirement that lasted a good five years…

anyhoo…i am on a mission to clear out the years of crap and my friends at the sixty minute training series have my back and have already completed their hard-hitting ‘reality check’…i now eagerly await ‘paper handling for the organizationally impaired (parts 1 AND 2!) and ‘optimize space and time’…

hopefully, once i get the office organized, which is difficult to do between planning two big special events, annual reports, various mailings, donor visits, etc…i will be be powerful and purposeful and then i can get busy re-purposing…

heaven’s little carton…

just so you know, this is freaking heaven…

blood…pressure…rising…

  yesterday, after reading two posts by one miss kathryn jean lopez, i could feel myself getting really pissed off…you may be asking, ‘why would any sane person read two pieces by k-lo in one sitting?’  the answer would be because i apparently like the high that comes along with your blood pressure hitting the low 300s…i guess. 

i don’t know why i did it, and lately, i’ve been pissy and life is hard enough without being a masochist…just getting through any day is enough to make you want to just say ‘fuck it’…hell, for me sometimes even getting through an hour can be a challenge…take for instance this crappy lap-top i’m forced to use…i don’t know if a slower or bulkier machine (hence it being named ‘betty behemoth’) has ever been built…i don’t power on or off any more because i can literally take a shower that includes leg-shaving in the time that it takes to fire up…and don’t even get me started on its random cursor…you just never know what it will actually click on or not, but you can bet it’s going to take a good chunk of your life while it makes up its mind…but i digress…

the first k-lo piece i read was an interview with an activist priest who wrote an entire book bitching about how government is so intrusive…which made me laff because, really? catholic church? 

the second piece was about a martyr named stacy who has crohn’s disease…right now, stacy depends on her insurance to help her out with medications and procedures, which is normal…but then stacy says

“I would gladly give up my insurance coverage, despite the very real risk that would pose to my financial well-being and my health.”

why, you might ask?  because of…the mandate!    and why?  you might ask…because some of the wimmens in this country are on…the birth control!  and it gets worse..some women might take medication to abort unwanted pregnancies!

“Everyone pays for it. Being forced to use my money to help pay for contraception violates my conscience as a Catholic and is therefore a violation of my constitutionally guaranteed rights.” She adds: “What worries me the most is the violation of our ‘first freedom,’ the freedom of religion. If this freedom is taken away, others will be sure to follow.”

since my church doesn’t outlaw birth control, isn’t stacy and her church being bigstupidmeanpoopieheads to demand that they don’t have to pay for things that they don’t believe in when i do?  isn’t that violating my religious freedom?  i think it is…

guess what?  stacy is…well we’ll let k-lo tell you

This may not surprise you, because you’ve already been introduced to her zeal, but Thomlison is also a missionary — not in some foreign land but in the heartland: Omaha, Nebraska. And her evangelism isn’t only about the drawbacks to the president’s health-care law. She is a missionary with the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, a support to students who seek to live their young lives in accord with the gospel.

“The college campus is a unique environment where students are away from home but not fully in the ‘real world’ yet,” Thomlison says. “It is a time where young people make many important decisions that will affect the rest of their lives, like choosing a career and finding a spouse. They also make important decisions about religion. Missionaries help college students to realize their faith is not something their parents believe or something they’ve been told; missionaries help students to make their faith in Jesus their own.”

Thomlison has some experience with the realities of living authentic Christianity, particularly in the face of suffering. But she says that, while Crohn’s disease has inflicted pain on her life, it has also helped her become “a better person”: “Experiencing this kind of suffering has made me more compassionate, patient, and understanding.”

The illness has also, she says, brought her closer to God. Her missionary zeal took hold of her during a pilgrimage she “tagged along” for, to the Holy Land in 2009. She says the friendships she formed there, rooted in faith, were pivotal in bringing her to where she is today.

so, stacy finds it perfectly acceptable to tell others what to do and how to live their lives according to *her* religion…but it’s okay because she’s commpassionate and and patient and understanding…but not when it comes to women taking birth control!  she also gave up her nursing career for a while to follow her new calling…but she’s back, which should be a total comfort to patients as she picks and chooses what mary and jesus tell her she can and can’t in all good conscience do for her patients…

i can’t help but wonder, and this is what really has me pissed off…stacy will jeopardize her health and refuse to pay into the system because she doesn’t like or believe in what some people may or may not take for their own health care…it really, really bothers her that *her* money is going for things like that…does stacy also realize that her tax money has funded some pretty heinous and stupid wars?  wars where real, live people have been killed?  and that’s okay?  all to save some zygotes and spermatoza?

i also can’t help but wonder if stacy has pulled her funding from the catholic church itself…because surely, someone with such a sensitive conscience would not want her money going to the salaries of priests who have raped little boys, can she?

it’s official…we’re effing old…

although feeling relatively good after a night of carousing (nothing that a kick-ass brunch can’t cure) hubbkf and i have taken it pretty goddamn easy today…i napped out in the sun while he chose the couch but that was the extent of our day…

after a supper which was a fend for yourself affair, we decided to throw off our loginess and head to dq for some ice cream and a ride through the refuge…kinda approaching old fogeyness right there…and we went in vanna…and listened to roger miller…for feck’s sake…i’m feeling ancient right about now…and pretty soon we are going to watch ‘longmire’ on a & e…gah!  we have a show we watch on sunday nights!  tomorrow i’ll probably fall and break a hip…

other things that are making me feel old right now?  the lower half of my body is screaming due to the sustained (hardly) weeding extravaganza of yesterday…i found out that truckers do not use cb lingo anymore…the sadness of that era being completely bygone was assuaged by the fact that cw mccall’s ‘convoy’ is now obsolete…but the brother in law thinks we still need to listen to it lest we forget terms such as ‘smokie’ and ’10-20′ and whatnot…(i think not and i swear, the next time some red-neck-hillbilly fucker requests it on the radio again, i will shoot it and then hunt them down for good measure)the day after tends to run to two to three days after…nearly everyone we hung out with last night was a good ten years or more younger than us…i drive a mini-van and i like it…yesterday i forgot how many cups of sugar to use for a pitcher of kool-aid…rogue facial hairs…the teevee told me today that after the age of 40, menopause is right around the corner and i will never lose weight no matter so i better order some amberen right now…

i love this:

much superior to the kenny rogers version…miller’s voice is so genuinely plaintive in a way rogers’ rasp could never achieve…i also love that it lacks rogers’ dramatic pauses…

but here he’s just being a dick…

and this is probably my favorite roger miller song…i happily discovered it tonight:

and one more…cause it’s gorgeous: 

if loving this makes me old, i guess i’ll take it…

effing poifect…

today was about as good as it gets…brought the daughter home since she has to work this weekend…hung out with her a bit afterwards…plus got rid of some clothes and junk at the salvation army…she was pretty excited because her house was going to a parade and today is her and tyler’s one month anniversary… 🙂

got home, put some potatoes on to boil for potato salad…worked in the yard for awhile…did some transplanting and sprucing up…did i mention the temps were perfect, not an ounce of humidity in the air and a nice breeze?  i also gathered up all the colored glassware i had purchased last summer and put together a little glass sculpture to sit atop the great wall…

hubbkf helped a bit with the weeding and then started cleaning vanna, since we will be transporting a group to a wedding dance of a dear, dear friend of the family’s…we have a dd so it’s all good…looking forward to seeing a lot of friends and reminiscing…especially since our lovely ginatit will be around as well…

so, we got the place spruced up…broke in the new camper…are awaiting the arrival of the brother-in-law and his new woman who we will feed some kick-ass potato salad and some roast beef i have cooking in it’s own juices…it’s mandatory to have a good base before drinking…remember:  safety first and everything in moderation…

happy early fourth of july…

as always, jim gaffigan sums it up nicely…

just thought i’d get that out there now, since it has been exactly a month since my last post…and tomorrow is going to be a busy, busy day…first we’ll particpate in and watch the 4th? 5th? annual odessa lawnmower parade.  then it’s the community pot-luck picnic…after that over to rosen to watch town ball where the rosen express will take on their rivals, the hooterville rox in their annual fourth of july showdown.  now, i know this sounds like a hella lot of fun, so far…but wait!  there’s more…after the game, we’ll travel over to south dakota for hubbk’s family gathering with some of his cousins…then it’s back to odessa for fireworks at the ball field.  hubbkf is a volunteer fireman, so he gets to help blow shit up…always entertaining to see which firework will be the renegade, causing a bunch of big, lumpy firemen scatter…

since the big rains of a couple weeks ago, some of the culverts and low spots in town are still full of water…couple that with the copious amounts of long grass, fields and trees and you’ve got mosquito heaven…luckily this year i have two cans of skeeter spray, which is twice as much as the one can i usually forget to buy…i wanted to hang out with the lucy to my ethel, lisa, her husband big island mike and their dog midnight bob, but lisa isn’t going to take any chances on contracting malaria or west nile…they will once again watch the fireworks while peering out the window on their stair landing…inside…no fun!

happy fourth y’all…and remember…america is pretty neat…